Thought I’d share an excerpt from “The road Less Travelled” by M Scott Peck. I would highly recommend this book to someone confused about what love is. This book has strongly backed up some of my earlier thoughts on the 2 types of love.

When we extend ourselves, our self enters a new and unfamiliar territory. Our self becomes a new and different self. we do things we are not accustomed to do. We change. The experience of change, of unaccustomed activity, of being on unfamiliar ground, of doing things differently, is frightening. It always was and always will be. People handle their fear of change in different ways, but the fear is inescapable if the changes are to take place. Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the making a decision in spite of fear, the moving out and changing against the resistance engendered by fear in to the unknown and in to the future. On some level spiritual growth, and therefore love, always requires courage and involves risk.

We can love only that which in one way or another has importance for us. But with cathexis there is always the risk of loss or rejection. If you move out to another human being, there is always the risk that that person will move away from you, leaving you more painfully alone than you were before. Love anything that lives – a person, a pet, a plant – and it will die. Trust anybody and you may be hurt, depend on anyone and that someone may let you down. The price of risking love, is pain. If someone is determined not to or fears the risk of pain, then that person must do without a great many things in life – Having Children, Getting Married, The ecstasy of sex, the hope of ambition, friendship – all that makes life alive, meaningful and significant. Risk growing in any direction and pain as well as joy will be your reward. A full life will be full of pain and suffering, it is inevitable for risk brings with it failure as well as success. But the only alternative is not to live fully or not to live at all. To live in fear.

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