The human mind developed a defence mechanism in its primitive phase. This defence mechanism is basic and simple, it was only meant to deal with threats like a lion attack, or a physical attack by any other, as well as our own species. This same mechanism is now called upon to deal with complex psychological threats. Complex situations that cause complex problems that cause anxiety. That anxiety is deemed to be a threat by our defence mechanism. One of the greatest causes of anxiety we experience in modern life is the fear of the risks of romantic love. So much of what we expect of life hinges on the romantic involvement with another person. Unconsciously, we see romantic involvement as the meaning to life because that is how we are phylogenetically programmed and this is why there is also so much fear involved in romantic love. Not only is romantic love one of the greatest aims in life, it is also the cause of the some of the greatest fears and anxieties in life.

Bad choices are made due to the fact that anxiety causes a chemical flood in the mind that shuts down rational thinking and causes reactionary thinking. Reactionary thinking is the disease of love, the destroyer of love, but it is also tied to the defence mechanism that used to be responsible for our physical safety. We now react to perceived psychological and emotional threats like we would a physical threat in our more primitive ancestral phase. The responses are: fight, flight or shutdown in simple threat situations. In complex threat situations like the one we often perceive ourselves to be in sometimes in romantic love, these responses get confused and we sometimes get all these responses at once causing even greater anxiety and confusion. The sense of lack of control leading to even more anxiety. The bodies’ response to this complex cocktail of anxiety signals is to alter perceptions, twist reality, in order to reduce or remove the anxiety response and it’s poisonous chemical cocktail.