Most people aren’t ready for The Truth. When you show them the truth, it is like holding a mirror up to them and showing them all the ugliness and fear inside them that they hide from themselves, but instead of seeing it as a reflection of the truth inside them, they see the person holding the mirror as the source of all their ugliness and fear, and so that person then becomes the target for the full force of projection for all the violence and disgust felt towards the denied or repressed lower aspects of the psyche.

In his book, Vital Lies, Simple Truths: The Psychology of Self Deception, Daniel Goleman wrote;

“Tact – in the form of discreet inattention – is a keystone of the social alliance to honour the integrity of the frames we share. To call attention to a leaky channel (giveaways to self deceit, the lies we hide our true selves with) is to violate the social contract that obligates us to protect one another’s public face – to break a frame. In this sense the failure to exhibit attentional tact constitutes an attack. It violates the larger codes that preserve the smooth workings of social order.”

DePaulo points out that seeing through other’s self deceptions and making other’s aware, either intentionally or unintentionally, of their self deception “- can instead function like liabilities. The person who knows what other people are really feeling has a more accurate grasp of what the interpersonal world is really like. But in some ways, under some circumstances, maybe being good at understanding social and interpersonal cues is just not good at all”

 

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