The concept that each of us has a non conscious self that works independently and sometimes against our conscious wishes and desires, that can manipulate our own thoughts, perceptions, interpretations and thus our behaviour, that can, through the manipulation of our own behaviour, manipulate the perceptions, interpretations and thus behaviour of those around us in to fulfilling a non conscious self serving need, seems to be one of the hardest facts of our internal psychological existence for us to come to terms with and accept as a reality. We seem to be in built with a defence mechanism cloaking device that protects us from seeing the true driving forces behind some of our feelings and behaviours. Nowhere is this more noticeable than in the emotional relationships that we experience as romantic couples. It’s as if we have to overcome the hurdle of realising our internal world in both its good and evil potentials before we can truly have a fulfilling relationship without the, sometimes meaningless and ridiculous conflicts that arise out of our own autonomous non conscious defence mechanisms. The most remarkable thing is that while we are communicating, there is always a sub-communication occurring out of our conscious awareness, as if our non conscious selves are also having their own conversation and trying to bring about an outcome that is self serving to a part of ourselves that we work very hard not to notice or know exists within us. We will even go as far as attacking and destroying anything that could potentially make us aware of the “devil” inside us, as has happened so many times in relationships between individuals, tribes, countries and religions. There is, it seems, a certain autonomy in our non conscious experience, that doesn’t always serve our needs, but always serves its own.

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