All conflict, whether between individuals, nations, religions, or any other faction, is the result of an individual or group of individuals with inner conflicts. Our very nature and our environment involves conflict. Our day to day lives involve conflict and constant compromise, whether on a conscious or non conscious level.

We live our lives dealing with fears, insecurities, uncertainties and anxiety. We are in a constant battle against our base selves and the fear and desires that emanate from our primitive instincts. Our fears in this modern world are primarily psychological & emotional, we have more or less eradicated threat in its physical form, with a few exceptions. But we now have to deal with a constant influx of psychological fears.

The 3 primary methods that have evolved from our defence mechanism for dealing with this psychological threat are repression, projection and denial. None of these processes are really healthy ways of our dealing with a psychological threat. The definition of a psychological threat is a fear of something that hasn’t yet happened, something in the future, something that might happen, it is something that threatens our future well being.

It’s difficult for our primitive defence mechanism to apply its fight or flight approach to psychologcal threat, so this fight or flight becomes a psychological response. We are either in conflict with our inner primitive fears, or we deny our primitive fears, or we run away from them (but in a psychological manner as opposed to a physical running away).

If we don’t face our inner fears, we repress them, these fears then give rise to desires within the fight or flight response, but without a simple outlet for these desires, they become confused and conflicted within us. They are held inside, although they desire to escape, and this is where projection comes in. Projection is the method of escape, it is a fight or flight response.

Fears and desires that cannot be acknowledged, that are denied and cannot be accepted within, are projected out. A person that cannot face a desire or feeling, will provoke that desire and feeling in another in order to release themselves from authorship.

Having successfully projected the unwanted aspect of their own personality on to an available surrogate, the surrogate will be subject to all the disgust and repulsion that the initiator felt for themselves for their feeling or desire, but could not allow themselves to acknowledge it’s existence within themselves.

Being as this is an autonomous response that most people are unconscious of, the surrogate is usually the easiest and logically available target. In the case of relationships, it is nearly always the partner who is the surrogate, because their availability and their susceptibility to the projection is almost guaranteed. This is the source of all conflict in relationships.

and while I am at it, another thought to ponder:

being mentally balanced is just that, it’s a balancing act. The brain is an incredibly marvellous piece of biological engineering, but it is far from being perfect or faultless. Giving names to psychological conditions is, in someway unhelpful in realising that these conditions exist to some extent in all of us. The ones we label are merely the more extreme versions of imperfections that we all share.