We all like to feel in control so that we have a sense of power over our lives and that we can prepare our surroundings so that we feel more secure in them.

But when that need for control, to counter our insecurity, gets out of hand. We begin to try to control our environment more and more, when we cross the threshold in to controlling other people in order to try to control our environment, we begin see others, not as themselves, but as an extension of ourselves. And that the other person is there in order to make our environment a safer, secure and more controlled place.

The wishes, needs and desires of the other person are slowly fazed out or ignored. That the other person is a person in their own right begins to be dismissed or forgotten about.

When that other person fails to be controlled, our insecurities flood back in and our world appears to fall in to a total lack of control.

Our fears are raised and this is demonstrated by anger at the other person for not immediately doing as instructed.

Through this, control issues are revealed.

When we are in control of ourselves, we no longer need to feel in control of our environment, we no longer need to have everything planned down to the smallest detail. And we no longer have an intolerance to things that upset the plans we have made, because we are not thrown in to our insecurities by feeling that we have lost control of our environment. We know we can adapt and change to our environment and we know that we can deal with what ever comes our way.

Learn control over yourself, and that’s all you will ever need to control.