Time and again this fundamental truth keeps popping up;

Our ability to truly love is directly connected to our tolerance for emotional vulnerability. In other words, the more we can tolerate being emotionally vulnerable, the greater our ability to love. Love therefore has nothing to do with another person, it is something within ourselves and the courage to expose it; the ability to tolerate and overcome the fear of emotional pain, or hurt. Therefore when we say “I love you” to someone, we are not really actually loving them, we are merely feeling safe enough in their presence to expose our true selves to the risk of emotional pain, or hurt. It’s about the courage of letting love out, rather than receiving anything emotionally from another person. Therefore, also, loving someone is not dependent upon them, but dependent upon you and your courage and ability to let your emotional guard down.

We all have emotional guards, some more than others, but the hardest emotional guards to overcome are the ones set up in the amygdala before the hippocampus comes on line at around the age of 3 to 4 years old. Ones that consciousness and explicit memory have no access to. Emotional injuries in the first 3 to 4 years of life are almost impossible to repair without some conscious acceptance of their existence. They set up emotional guards with an autonomy totally separate from the conscious personality and with the power to usurp the personality at any moment and whenever the person finds them facing the threat of emotional exposure, whenever that person is confronted by the fear of emotional vulnerability.

Love and Fear are complete polar opposites. We are like magnets, we attract or repel and the forces of that attraction and repulsion are Love and Fear. Whenever we repel, we do so out of fear.

Therefore, behaviour that we refer to as Bipolar, is an instability of Love and Fear; our internal magnet is, essentially, unstable. A dysregulation of our perceptions of threat and safety.  An amygdala with a hair trigger, lacking in or pertaining to a dysfunctional cortical modulation.

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